a widows pursuit

In my widowhood, over the years, I can now look back and see how much I listened to God’s voice by the way my life turned out. My transformation began after my spouse’s death by surrendering my trust over to God. Proverbs 3: 5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not  lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him. And He will make your paths straight”.

Living in this world can be very confusing when a loved one has passed. There’s a lot we don’t understand. We don’t know what the after life will really be like. We only know that we have to trust God that He knows best and has our best interests at heart. I craved to be closer to God knowing only He could get me through grief.

The first thing I did to hear from God was to pray. I prayed for direction in my life. I prayed for my children without a father. I prayed for God to watch over and protect my children because I couldn’t always be with them. Rarely did a day go by without having a prayer to start my day. Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind”.

The second thing I did to hear God’s voice was to be obedient. This began at a time when I was desperate and God was all I had. It seemed the more obedient I was to God’s Word, the more the channels were open to hear from God. I rested every Sabbath (Sunday) and kept it holy. Though I dated, I reserved ever having sex again unless I got remarried. You got the picture. It was really a simple equation for me: Prayer + Obedience = Hearing God’s Voice.

The third thing I did to hear God’s voice was to listen and watch for signs. Sometimes it was a feeling of peace that washed over me when I was doing what I felt He wanted me to do….

Two years into widowhood as I prayed for direction in my life, I considered a move to Puerto Rico to live with my in-laws for a year. I felt my two daughters, 8 and 9 years old at the time, would benefit from having the love of their father’s family ingrained in their hearts forever. I just happened to cross paths with an individual that had moved to Puerto Rico for a year and he stressed how beneficial it worked out for him. I considered it a sign and began working towards that goal for the following summer. It wasn’t easy and it was a huge sacrifice for me. I had to rent out our home in Florida then pack our belongings and car in storage for a year. But everything fell into place PERFECTLY. That’s when I felt God’s peace and knew I had heard His voice!

Sometimes there were signs after I prayed that seemed so obvious….

Five years into widowhood, I had journaled 450 pages of my grief journey. That summer, at a friend’s home, I was typing them up on my vacation. Each day I’d spend a few hours every evening typing up a chapter. On the third day, I was wondering if this was worth it. I prayed to God that day for a sign to continue this laborious project on my vacation. As I was typing up my third chapter that evening (being obedient), my friend came rushing into the family room. “Cindy, you have to watch this program that is on!”. It was titled “Mere Coincidences” about spiritual occurrences that happened after loved ones passed and signs that they were still around. My mouth dropped, I said, “Carol! Look at the title of the chapter I’m typing up tonight!” I flipped it over to the title page and it revealed, “Mere Coincidences- or signs from above?”.

And so I completed my book, “A Widow’s Pursuit, Finding Out There’s More to Life Than Grief”.

And not only did I hear God’s voice through the years, God also heard my prayers. My daughters had God as their father growing up and are now 2 beautiful young ladies pursuing their own goals and dreams in which I am so proud of!

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