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a6d35804-7b97-4538-90e0-5ba63074b195[1]My church put together five simple concepts they felt were important about making New Year’s Resolutions. So they wanted to remind us of those:
1) Keep it Simple
2) Include others
3) Celebrate Accomplishments
4) Encourage Often
5) Focus on the Big Picture
Additionally, they sent an exercise that would be a great way to finish out 2017 and begin 2018: I filled it out and it was a great reflection from the year past and the year to come!

 

 

2017:

2 FAVORITE MEMORIES

  1. Buying a new home
  2. Road-trip with my sister

3 THINGS I’M GRATEFUL FOR

  1. My parents moved to GA
  2. My daughter was OK after her accident
  3. Everyone in our family had good health last year

1 HARD LESSON I LEARNED

  1. I can’t do everything! God is still in control!

1 THING I DID THIS YEAR I’M PROUD OF

  1. I reconnected with several family members

2018:

3 PLACES I WANT TO GO

  1. San Francisco- to see my new granddaughter in April
  2. Florida- to go to my friend’s son’s wedding
  3. To the Georgia mountains in the Fall

2 WAYS I CAN HELP OTHERS

  1. Pursue my job as a Social Worker
  2. Pursue selling my book to help other widows

1 THING I WANT TO GET BETTER AT

  1. Marketing my book by giving Speeches

2 THINGS I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO

  1. Meeting my new grandbaby
  2. My Step-daughter’s wedding

3 NEW THINGS I WANT TO TRY

  1. Doing Grief presentations
  2. Sticking to more healthy eating
  3. Trying new recipes

This is my list so now it’s your turn!

 

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This year, Tate Publishing and Enterprises, who published my memoir, “A Widow’s Pursuit”, went out of business. I did some edits and it’s back on Amazon with an updated 2017 version.

Get your copy now…A Widow’s Pursuit

Or buy a copy for a friend or family member who is going through grief. Grief is not only about losing a spouse or loved one, but a devastating change in our lives where a loss occurs. How do we get through and find a new normal? In every situation, there’s one sure way to get through grief and find joy, love and happiness again. Read my story!!

To update my 2017 version, my baby, Nicole, and her husband Teigan, are expecting their first baby this coming March! So soon I’ll have 3 grandchildren!!!! Life goes on…..

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th[3]Grief is not only about losing a loved one, but also about losing our life as we know it.

Since many people will be affected from the Hurricanes this season, I wanted to share a post from Ferree, my widow friend, that was related to “Harvey”.

Widow’s Christian Place shares a face post from a Katrina survivor to share her testimony and advice on how we still need a great God!

 

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Widows need to find a new “Normal”. Everything changes in our daily life when a spouse dies. An article in a blog from “The Grief Recovery Method” states a very valid point… In order to successfully deal with grief, we must change our habits on how we deal with the emotional pain.

Sometimes it may just be finding a support group to discuss with other widows what works for them. There are support groups in churches that work through curriculum and videos.

Not only should a widow do it for herself, but when they have children who are going through their own grief (as I had), we must be a role model for them.

There are unhealthy habits we can get caught up in, and then there are healthy habits. Pray for the healthy ones to become part of your daily routine. You will reap the benefits by recovering from grief to move on!

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NEVER GIVE UP!

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Taken from my social networking friend, JoAnne Funch’s website:

HEARTACHE TO HEALING

One day I decided to quit….
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality. ..
I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

‘God’, I asked, ‘Can you give me one good reason not to quit?’
His answer surprised me…
‘Look around’, He said. ‘Do you see the fern and the bamboo?’
‘Yes’, I replied.
‘When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds,
I took very good care of them.
I gave them light.
I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo.

In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo’, He said.

‘In year three, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit.

In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.
I would not quit.’ He said.

‘Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. ..

But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots.
Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
‘I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.’

He asked me.
‘Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots’.

‘I would not quit on the bamboo.
I will never quit on you.’
‘Don’t compare yourself to others.’

He said.
‘The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.
Yet they both make the forest beautiful.’
‘Your time will come’,

God said to me.
‘You will rise high’
‘How high should I rise?’  I asked.
‘How high will the bamboo rise?’ He asked in return.
‘As high as it can?’ I questioned.
‘Yes.’
He said,
‘Give me glory by rising as high as you can.’

I left the forest and brought back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.

Never, Never, Never Give up.

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heartMy friend, Ferree’s, recent blog post on her website, is for widows who are going through grief and have to live through Valentine’s Day. If you’re dreading the day or looking for some ideas about what to do, Ferree, has shared some of her thoughts….

 Do you think you’ll want to mark Valentine’s Day this year? It’s a hard holiday to face alone! Let’s admit it can be a challenge, but there are some ways to deal with it. Keep reading for some ideas, and please add your own in the comments.  

First, you might be able to transform it by thinking ahead and planning to do something different. If you want to pretend the day doesn’t exist and not acknowledge it at all, that’s okay too. I often find that people deal with sorrow in two different ways: 

  • remember/memorialize it
  • or choose to leave it alone. It’s in the past, its been dealt with, and its time for the next chapter.

Depending on your background and personality, both of these methods can work. There’s a third way too—have a pity party, but that won’t get us anywhere.

If you’d like to memorialize the day or give yourself something to look forward to, here are a variety of things that might be meaningful for you: 

  • Visit the cemetary and leave a message of candy conversation hearts to melt into the snow
  • Tie a home-made Valentine to a helium balloon and let it fly away to heaven
  • Collect old Valentines and love letters and put them together in a decorative memory box keepsake.

Please stop by Ferree’s website for more of her ideas and other resources for widows:

Widow’s Christian Place

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MC900444925[1]It’s that time of year when many people are working on their New Year’s Resolutions. Perhaps you barely made it through the holidays and grief has worn you down. Very often, when people are grieving, it takes every bit of energy just to make it through a day, let alone a year!

With January in full swing, you may be wondering, “What now?” I’ve been there and I know how it feels. So I’ve come up with my Top 5 Resolutions that might be considered if you’re still grieving:

  1. Spiritual Health: Pray, Worship and/or join a Bible Study
  2. Physical Health: Exercise (Run, Walk and/or join a Gym)
  3. Healthy Eating: Low sugar, little alcohol and more Fruits / Veggies
  4. Rest: 6 to 8 hours of sleep every night & naps when needed
  5. Support groups: Retreat or Grief Support Group such as Griefshare (www.griefshare.org) Plug in your zip code and you can find the closest groups in your area

Consider these resolutions to help you work through your grief in a healthy way!

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