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Posts Tagged ‘grief journey’

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What do we do when our life falls apart and we can’t put it back together the way it was? It’s as if we worked all weekend putting together a puzzle with 1000 pieces. We only have about 20 pieces to go when the dog runs through the family room chasing the cat, slams into the card table sending the puzzle pieces flying through the air. Pieces land everywhere; in the fish tank, in sis’s plate of food and glass of wine and even between couch cushions! We realize we’ll never be able to put the puzzle back together.

Isn’t that the way it goes in our lives sometimes?

It may be an earthquake, flood or tornado that scatters our material possessions all over the place. Or a divorce that scatters family members into several different states. Perhaps there’s an illness and an early, unexpected retirement surfaces. Or what about an accident that causes someone to become a paraplegic. They can no longer drive their dream car.

So now what??? First we must go through the grieving process and come to accept our loss. Maybe then, instead of seeing our glass half empty we can see it as our glass half filled.

When our material possessions are scattered from a natural disaster, we may find the sugar bowl and creamer set from our fine china that was intact. We might place it on the mantel or table as an even more cherished item. In a divorce, or death of a spouse, it may be establishing a better relationship with our children. In other life altering situations from illness or an accident, it may be giving up a career and going back to school for more education to pursue another passion.

For the paraplegic who had to give up his job, perhaps with a settlement, he’s able to pursue a passion for painting and become an artist. Having the funds to travel the world and paint the most amazing paintings. These are goals to give us hope. It’s finding a new path in life and viewing new scenery along the way.

So like putting a puzzle together, we have to put a plan together….

For some, we may need a life coach to get us started or to guide us through the process. It’s a matter of making goals and breaking it down into one step at a time and “To Do Lists”.

In a divorce or family death, a goal may be getting counseling for the children. What would be the first step? From experience, my first step was to research professional counselors. Step 2 was calling and setting up an appointment. The third step was taking my children to the appointment. Once we managed to get there, the counselor then had steps for us to meet our own goals.

I’m sure most of us have had a life detour at one time or another. As we made a new normal, it was like taking a different path on our journey and experiencing new scenery.

In my situation of becoming a widow, I had to give up my job. This led me to go back to college at the age of 37. You’re never too old for an education! I took an Anthropology course and traveled to the Yucatan in Mexico. I was able to climb the incredible Mayan Ruins and sleep on the Guatemala beach listening to the howling monkeys near by in the jungle.

This only enriched my life as I began putting my life back together with new pieces and making a new picture. So despite our life detours, we can always regain our hope in a new journey!

 

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I used to think people only grieved when a love one died. After my first husband died, I  learned more about grief. I realized people go through grief over many reasons. Perhaps if we know we’re going through grief, such as stages of depression or anger, we’ll realize there’s logic to why we feel the way we do. This short clip may bring more understanding to grief experiences from losses we may never have thought about…..

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stock-photo-46786344-woman-at-cemetery[1]Top 10 Rights for anyone grieving:

  1. You have the right to experience your own unique grief.
  2. You have the right to talk about your grief.
  3. You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions.

See more…..

For anyone who is going through grief, it’s an individual experience. Each person, who is grieving, has a set of rights. If others can understand this, and allow the griever these rights, they can move along in their grief healthier and possibly sooner than if they are prevented from experiencing these rights.

Check out the “Mourner’s Bill of Rights” from grief expert, Dr. Alan Wolfelt. This was posted from a blogger friend who has a fantastic website Heartache To Healing, from JoAnne Funch. JoAnne’s website  offers, “Compassionate Grief Support to Heal Your Heart and Soul”. She has many guest bloggers who offer HOPE and INSPIRATION

People who are grieving need to know that they’re not going crazy but have their own “rights” to allow them the freedom to grieve however they need to!

 

 

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photo%20storefront[1]What’s on your agenda next Saturday….12/12/15???? Shopping???

Whether you’re shopping by the Mall of Georgia or wanting to escape the mad rush, please stop in and say “Hi” if you’re in the area. I’ll be doing my very first book signing at an actual book store next weekend. It’s a fairly large store so if you’re looking for shopping ideas and books fall in that category, please stop by, Books For Less, by the Mall of Georgia!

Books For Less: 2815 Buford Drive, Buford, GA 30519  “I hope to see you next Saturday (12/12/15) between 1 and 3 pm.”

Always a 20% discount on cash purchases for “A Widow’s Pursuit“. Buy one for someone struggling through grief over the loss of a loved one during this Christmas season. It may give them hope and encouragement to know that there’s more to life than grief!

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“A Widow’s Pursuit” was released on November 3rd, 2015. I want to shout out, that I’ll be doing a book signing today, Saturday 11/7/15, at Espresso Theory in Duluth from 12 and 2 pm. Come on out and if interested in purchasing a book it will be on sale 20% off!

I’m including links for anyone wanting to purchase a book on the following websites:

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

Tate Publishing

If not able to make it today, I’ll be doing a 2nd signing next week at LATTEA on Saturday 11/14/15, in Duluth from 12 to 2 pm.  Hope to see you there!!

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A_Widow's_Pursuit_Cover_for_Kindle“A Widow’s Pursuit” has found a publisher!

My book is being published with Tate Publishing and Enterprises, LLC.

Before the release date, I will be doing some book events to get the word out. I’ll have more updates to follow. If you know of anyone, who is not one of my blog followers, who may be interested, have them sign up for my e-mail list for future blog posts and updates on book events.

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1420215826zh4ns[1]Becoming a widow eventually begs the question…”Now what do I do?”

An article I published this year, on an online website, Open To Hope, reaches out to let widows know that they are not alone. This happens to the best of us!

Grief is a major part of a widow/widower’s life. Although everyone works through grief in their own way, there are still some similarities. I’d guess the majority of widow/widowers go through various stages of shock, denial, guilt, anger, depression, and hopefully acceptance. But every journey will also be unique.

Read the article, When Grief Subsides…What’s Beyond?

In my book, A WIDOW”S PURSUIT: Finding Out There’s More to Life Than Grief, I wrote about my challenges that I went through in grief and beyond.

What about you….is it time to…

CONQUER CHALLENGES & MAKE NEW GOALS?

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