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heartMy friend, Ferree’s, recent blog post on her website, is for widows who are going through grief and have to live through Valentine’s Day. If you’re dreading the day or looking for some ideas about what to do, Ferree, has shared some of her thoughts….

 Do you think you’ll want to mark Valentine’s Day this year? It’s a hard holiday to face alone! Let’s admit it can be a challenge, but there are some ways to deal with it. Keep reading for some ideas, and please add your own in the comments.  

First, you might be able to transform it by thinking ahead and planning to do something different. If you want to pretend the day doesn’t exist and not acknowledge it at all, that’s okay too. I often find that people deal with sorrow in two different ways: 

  • remember/memorialize it
  • or choose to leave it alone. It’s in the past, its been dealt with, and its time for the next chapter.

Depending on your background and personality, both of these methods can work. There’s a third way too—have a pity party, but that won’t get us anywhere.

If you’d like to memorialize the day or give yourself something to look forward to, here are a variety of things that might be meaningful for you: 

  • Visit the cemetary and leave a message of candy conversation hearts to melt into the snow
  • Tie a home-made Valentine to a helium balloon and let it fly away to heaven
  • Collect old Valentines and love letters and put them together in a decorative memory box keepsake.

Please stop by Ferree’s website for more of her ideas and other resources for widows:

Widow’s Christian Place

MC900444925[1]It’s that time of year when many people are working on their New Year’s Resolutions. Perhaps you barely made it through the holidays and grief has worn you down. Very often, when people are grieving, it takes every bit of energy just to make it through a day, let alone a year!

With January in full swing, you may be wondering, “What now?” I’ve been there and I know how it feels. So I’ve come up with my Top 5 Resolutions that might be considered if you’re still grieving:

  1. Spiritual Health: Pray, Worship and/or join a Bible Study
  2. Physical Health: Exercise (Run, Walk and/or join a Gym)
  3. Healthy Eating: Low sugar, little alcohol and more Fruits / Veggies
  4. Rest: 6 to 8 hours of sleep every night & naps when needed
  5. Support groups: Retreat or Grief Support Group such as Griefshare (www.griefshare.org) Plug in your zip code and you can find the closest groups in your area

Consider these resolutions to help you work through your grief in a healthy way!

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Ever feel, no one really knows how you feel? Ever been to a widow’s retreat? Consider and pray about going to this one. You may find it to be a community to where you belong. My friend and blogger, Ferree, has all the information on her website, Widow’s Christian Place, to start planning for your spring retreat.

Treat Yourself to A Widows Retreat! Make It A Christmas Present for YOU!

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to meet women who “get it” about widowhood? Who know by experience that the Lord will not leave you stranded, but also know the pain and the struggle? That’s what happens at a widows retreat. The best one to minister to a widow is another widow and that’s what will happen the weekend of March 3-5. Gayle Roper, author of “A Widow’s Journey” and many other wonderful books (see yesterday’s blog post) hosts this retreat. Wouldn’t you like to be in on this time of encouragement and strengthening? Start praying about going today, and sign up soon! Please email me as soon as you register so I can help you get to know some mutual friends a bit ahead of your stay. WCplace@gmail.com The information below is from the Sandy Cove Ministries website and newsletter. Sandy Cove Retreat Center is located near the town of North East, Maryland, “serenely situated between Boston and Philadelphia.” It’s beautiful!

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Being a widow is to be in a very lonely place. People say, “Isn’t it wonderful he’s with the Lord,” and you want to yell, “No! He should be here with me.”

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We have a BIRTHDAY–and we have a day that we DIE. It’s the dash in-between that represent what we do with our life.

What will the DASH in your life represent? Perhaps time spent completing our purpose that God brought us into this world for?

My online friend Joanne Funch who has a website http://www.heartachetohealing.com shared a short video of a poem “The Dash”

As this year comes to an end, perhaps we can think about our future and if we’re working toward our goals.

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Cynthia A. Adams’ Book Signing Event

You are invited to attend a book signing for author Cynthia A. Adams:

inman-perk

Friday 10/28/16 – From 4 to 6 pm

INMAN PERK COFFEE

240 North Highland Ave.
Suite H
Atlanta, GA 30307

(678) 705-4545

Please join Cindy for this special event

and invite a friend!

If you already have a copy of A Widow’s Pursuit,

buy one for a friend – this book makes a great gift!

We hope to see you there!

For more information, please email Cindy at: cindyspursuits@yahoo.com

Can’t make the event? Visit our online bookstore to get a copy!

https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-68187-394-7

KID’S GRIEF CAMP

Kids Camp offered through Crossroads Hospice Charitable Foundation

Do you know a child who is grieving due to a recent loss?   We still have openings for our Kid’s Camp sponsored by Crossroads Hospice Charitable Foundation!   Our camp is overseen by credentialed and licensed Clinical and Master’s level Social Worker and Psychology staff.  Our camp staff and volunteers are highly trained and specialize in grief and loss.    Kid’s Camp has designed fun, interactive activities for the children, age 6 to 12, to bond and share, play and gain tools to help them with their grief.

For some reason I couldn’t get the link to copy…so please go to the following website for more information. Sorry!

https://crhcf.org/Crossroads-Kids/

A place for grieving children to connect.

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Setting New Goals

With the Olympics going on, we can all set our own personal goals!

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What do we do when our life falls apart and we can’t put it back together the way it was? It’s as if we worked all weekend putting together a puzzle with 1000 pieces. We only have about 20 pieces to go when the dog runs through the family room chasing the cat, slams into the card table sending the puzzle pieces flying through the air. Pieces land everywhere; in the fish tank, in sis’s plate of food and glass of wine and even between couch cushions! We realize we’ll never be able to put the puzzle back together.

Isn’t that the way it goes in our lives sometimes?

It may be an earthquake, flood or tornado that scatters our material possessions all over the place. Or a divorce that scatters family members into several different states. Perhaps there’s an illness and an early, unexpected retirement surfaces. Or what about an accident that causes someone to become a paraplegic. They can no longer drive their dream car.

So now what??? First we must go through the grieving process and come to accept our loss. Maybe then, instead of seeing our glass half empty we can see it as our glass half filled.

When our material possessions are scattered from a natural disaster, we may find the sugar bowl and creamer set from our fine china that was intact. We might place it on the mantel or table as an even more cherished item. In a divorce, or death of a spouse, it may be establishing a better relationship with our children. In other life altering situations from illness or an accident, it may be giving up a career and going back to school for more education to pursue another passion.

For the paraplegic who had to give up his job, perhaps with a settlement, he’s able to pursue a passion for painting and become an artist. Having the funds to travel the world and paint the most amazing paintings. These are goals to give us hope. It’s finding a new path in life and viewing new scenery along the way.

So like putting a puzzle together, we have to put a plan together….

For some, we may need a life coach to get us started or to guide us through the process. It’s a matter of making goals and breaking it down into one step at a time and “To Do Lists”.

In a divorce or family death, a goal may be getting counseling for the children. What would be the first step? From experience, my first step was to research professional counselors. Step 2 was calling and setting up an appointment. The third step was taking my children to the appointment. Once we managed to get there, the counselor then had steps for us to meet our own goals.

I’m sure most of us have had a life detour at one time or another. As we made a new normal, it was like taking a different path on our journey and experiencing new scenery.

In my situation of becoming a widow, I had to give up my job. This led me to go back to college at the age of 37. You’re never too old for an education! I took an Anthropology course and traveled to the Yucatan in Mexico. I was able to climb the incredible Mayan Ruins and sleep on the Guatemala beach listening to the howling monkeys near by in the jungle.

This only enriched my life as I began putting my life back together with new pieces and making a new picture. So despite our life detours, we can always regain our hope in a new journey!

 

Taken from a facebook friend, Mary Kate Cranston, who has a blog “Cry Laugh Heal”:

How do you deal with change? Here’s a new post about when life pushes us in a new direction. It sounds funny to say but change is definitely a constant of life. As David Bowie wrote in his classic hit song, Changes, you not only have to turn and face the strange but you also have to turn and face the strain because life is making you move on by rewriting your script.

On a morning walk in my neighborhood yesterday, I came upon a middle-aged man standing inside a huge moving van parked on the street. He was calmly…
crylaughheal.com

I used to think people only grieved when a love one died. After my first husband died, I  learned more about grief. I realized people go through grief over many reasons. Perhaps if we know we’re going through grief, such as stages of depression or anger, we’ll realize there’s logic to why we feel the way we do. This short clip may bring more understanding to grief experiences from losses we may never have thought about…..