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Posts Tagged ‘loss of loved one’

Filling the Void in Grief

Posted in Shared Stories, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 3, 2014| Leave a Comment »

This past year, September 19, 2013, I had the opportunity to speak to a H.U.G.S. (Healing Under God’s Sovereignty) Grief support group in Deltona, FL. My dear friend, Carol Keefer, who facilitates this ministry for grieving parents, arranged a weekly meeting where I shared a message about FILLING THE VOID.

Losing a child is quite different than losing a spouse, however, any void that results from a loss of a loved one, has to be filled with something. The following youtube video is the message I shared with these grieving parents and I’d also like to share it with anyone that has a void to fill during his or her grief.

A Widow’s Pursuit: Filling the Void

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=SHE7ilbwuzs

A special “Thank You” to my friend, Lisa Dolce, for helping me put this together.

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My Book and Reviews

Posted in Shared Stories, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 15, 2013| Leave a Comment »

A_Widow's_Pursuit_Cover_for_KindlePurchase, “A Widow’s Pursuit”, here.

When Cindy suddenly became a 34 year old widow, with two young children, she was thrown into shock. Due to her Christian upbringing, she immediately found peace by clinging to her faith.  Once reality surfaced, she was overwhelmed with responsibilities and unfamiliar feelings. She had to figure out a way not to feel the pain. She overindulged in unhealthy and risky behaviors. Due to her negligence, a terrible accident happened to her daughter.  Embarrassed of how out of control she had been, she realized she needed God’s help. By no longer dodging her grief, she’d cry every night and trusted God to take away her pain and heal her broken heart.  She found herself moving forward and finding comforting moments. Then there were days she’d collapse in despair. Old memories could trigger panic attacks. Childhood memories revealed that her deceased husband was only part of her past. She then reached a point where she accepted her loss. Being a single mom brought about a lot of confusion with new relationships. She struggled with males over being just friends, going on dates, as well as getting in vulnerable situations.  Going through grief wasn’t easy, but Cindy realized that as long as she pursued God’s will for her life, she would reap more peace and comfort.  Once through her grief, she understood the meaning of her journey. She became more compassionate to others that had experienced losses. She was able to make new goals as she went back to school and obtained a LMSW degree in social work.  A WIDOW’S PURSUIT: Finding Out There’s More to Life Than Grief, is not only written from Cindy’s grief years, but beyond. Grief had become only a small part of her life. This book is a complete journey through Cindy’s grief and finding an amazing life after her loss.

REVIEWS:

 

By   Lori T   on September 21, 2013

  Not only is Cindy Adam’s one of my best friends, but she is an inspirational mentor in my life. Cindy’s journey through grief is a true testament of the faith and love that she has in her heavenly Father. Cindy has helped me in my life’s journey more times than she’ll ever know!  I highly recommend that you read Cindy Adam’s book:  A Widow’s Pursuit: Finding Out There’s More To Life Than Grief.

By  Carol K   on September 21, 2013

  This book is special to me because of my personal friendship with the author, but I truly believe this would be an encouraging and uplifting read for anyone who is/has gone through the painful, unimaginable loss of someone they love ~ whether through death or divorce. One thing that has stayed with me after reading this book is that while we will ALWAYS love the person we lost, we can also learn to remember that they were not the only part of who we were/are. We have a past and a future and God will be with us every baby step of the way. Enjoy this easy-to-read, don’t-want-to-put-it-down, wonderful book.”

By  Lynn   on August 13, 2013

  I really felt as though I were going along with Cindy and her family during the experience.  She expressed all the emotion as the reality set in, and didn’t spare any details regarding her grief process- which is one of the reasons I think this book will be such a help to people going through losses.  The honesty comes through, as does her walk towards recovering and dealing with what her life had been handed. It is an excellent example of encouragement and healing, and inspiration to those who need to find their own peace.
  Although the story is about Cindy’s personal journey as a young widow with two young children, her story is an inspiration for anyone who has gone through a loss.  Her faith in God shines throughout the book, and it is a must read for anyone dealing with grief. The message is clear – that there is hope and “more to life than grief”
  Not only do I want to share with you that Cindy is a remarkable writer, but she has taught me about life and how you never know what tomorrow will bring you. She is a mentor and friend to me and I couldn’t have asked for a more amazing mother! I thank God every night for the life I have. I give it all to him and thank him for blessing me with such a kind, compassionate mother.

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EMBRACING HOLIDAY BEREAVEMENT

Posted in Shared Stories, tagged , , , , , , , , on December 7, 2013| Leave a Comment »

OpenToHopeLogoTransparent1251This is an article I wrote for the “Open To Hope Foundation“….which was published last month:

I had to face it, holidays would never be the same after my husband died. I soon realized that I was never going to share time with my loved one again. There would never be the traditional Christmas shopping together, putting up Christmas decorations, shopping around town for a real Christmas tree, or going to a Christmas party together. I was never going to see another smile from my loved one or hear him say “I love you”. At times it felt that life would never be joyful again. And holidays seemed the worse because of so many joyous memories.

I had many other joyous moments in life. I remembered how joyous I felt when my children took their first steps, how excited and happy they were on Christmas morning. Then they went to their first day of school and they were no longer toddlers. I grieved to a certain point because I remembered the beautiful memories of them as babies, but knew that period of time was over and could never come back. But I’m still able to smile of those memorable moments.

Children grow up, get lives of their own. If we’re blessed, we can still share time with them. We take what we can get and savor every moment. Life is different, but we live in the moment and make new memories. Are we going take advantage of the present, and find the joy? Or will we still live in the past and wish they were toddlers with excited faces on Christmas and feel sad that it could never be like that again? If we live in just the past, we’ll never find joy in the present.

Why not embrace the past and smile that we were fortunate to have wonderful memories. That’s how I came to embrace the holidays through my bereavement. I had a wonderful man for many years. Yes, I was deeply sad that he died at a young age. It didn’t seem fair. But I had to face it. He wasn’t coming back. All I had were the memories. I embraced them. I remembered how he loved shopping for Christmas, wrapping presents, decorating, and parties. I recalled how much he loved his family. I now smile when I think of those bittersweet memories.

But I can also smile in the present when I see my adult children making good choices and having lives of their own. I smile when I can spend time with my 2-year-old grandson and he tells me he wants Santa to bring him a bike for Christmas! It brings me joy to hear Christmas songs on the radio that I’ve loved since I was a child. This causes me to remember childhood memories that I can never live over, but embrace the past with a smile. Merry Christmas!!

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Sharing Grief during the Holidays

Posted in Grief Resources, tagged , , , , , , on November 2, 2013| Leave a Comment »

aseasonofgriefsmall[1]Oh Dear! It’s that time of year again….HOLIDAYS…

For some, that means happiness, joy, and sweet memories. For others, it means sadness, grief, and bitter-sweet memories.

The GriefShare organization has an annual event called, “Surviving the Holidays”. This helps in dealing with the intense pain of grief during the holidays. Local churches around the world sponsor these seminars.  Find out where the closest “Surviving the Holidays” is to you. The event is about 2 hours long. It includes a 40 minute video along with some group discussion as you meet others that are dealing with grief during this holiday season.

If you’ve never heard of or been to a GriefShare group, and you’re experiencing grief from a loved one’s death, this may be the perfect time of year to start.

GriefShare is a grief recovery support group where you can find help and healing for the hurt of losing a loved one. When you go to the GriefShare website, you can enter your zip code to find the closest group to your home.

I strongly encourage anyone who is presently experiencing grief, to seek out a local group. If you’re not ready for a group, another option to consider, is to receive daily GriefShare e-mails for an entire year. There are 365 daily messages that will help and encourage you through a year of the grieving process.

GriefShare is a journey from mourning to Joy!

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