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249179_10200164846100030_1443376650_n[1]Now I’m sure, that all my sacrifices in raising my daughters in widowhood, were more than well worth it! Here’s my youngest daughter’s book review of “A Widow’s Pursuit” that she wrote on Amazon…….

“Not only do I want to share with you that Cindy is a remarkable writer, but she has taught me about life and how you never know what tomorrow will bring you. She is a mentor and friend to me and I couldn’t have asked for a more amazing mother! I thank God every night for the life I have. I give it all to him and thank him for blessing me with such a kind, compassionate mother.”  by Nicole Acevedo

And that my friends, is proof that I pursued the right path for my family!

I know my book isn’t your …lay on the beach, feeling happy….or …..snuggled up on the couch with a cup of tea, feeling warm and cozy with sweet memories….  It’s a book that is partly sad and depressing, just as every widow must experience. But there is hope and there is a happy, exciting future beyond the grief!

If you can read past the grief, and read to the end, “Thank you”. If you are a widow, and feel it has given you insight and hope, please post a review so other widows can read. If you are not a widow, but believe there may be some validity in my story to help others, please post a review. My purpose is to tell my story.

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Postcards Greyden book cover picture[1]

I had the privilege to meet Ferree Hardy last year who authored, Postcards from the Widow’s Path.” We first met through our blogs and then had the opportunity to have lunch one day when she was in Atlanta. It was wonderful to meet another remarried widow that had authored a widow’s book to show the glory she gives to God and how she walked by faith to a renewed life.

Please take a visit to Ferree’s website when you can, Widow’s Christian Place, to see the numerous resources she has for widows along with a link to purchase her book, Postcards from the Widow’s Path. Ferree’s book offers insight into the challenges of widowhood and how to achieve renewed life and hope. It gives a biblical understanding of God’s specific care and concern for widows

Ferree states that, “There are plenty of books about grief, and there are plenty of Bible studies about Ruth. But Postcards from the Widows’ Path is the only book that looks at Ruth through the eyes of a widow. Scripture comes alive as we see how God uses the examples of Ruth, Naomi and Orpah to guide us through the twists and turns of widowhood and into the deep love and compassion of God.”

It’s nice to know that there are many resources of hope for widows. We widows have to stick together and show, that if we pursue God’s help and provision in our lives, we can have a renewed life with joy, peace and purpose!

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Businessman Thinking on Steps

Years after I became a widow, I got on the social media band wagon. I was amazed at the information that was shared between widows. Though my husband died suddenly from pneumonia, I could not even imagine the suddenness of a suicide. This article is written by Julie Barnes, taken from her website, Claim Your Shine.

Julie writes about her son, Chris, in her blog post, They Just Don’t Check Out, about how he took his life and left 2 small children behind. She states, “It’s important for people to understand that a person does not just wake up one day and go…today I’m going to kill myself.” She adds that, “Equally important to note is that the person is not in their right mind whether it be from drugs, depression, or mental health issues….”

As a social worker and former widow, I think this article is a good resource that gives more awareness to suicide. I believe that to have suicide awareness and to be sensitive to God’s leading in our life, we might be more conscious of early warning signs.

Attribution Statement: This article was first published by Julie Barnes on Claim Your Shine. Julie Barnes is a women’s empowerment coach, founder of ClaimYourShine.com and the creator of the program, Finding YOUR Pheonix. You can get Julie’s FREE 7 day video series “Get Happy, Healthy, & Empowered” Here.

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A_Widow's_Pursuit_Cover_for_KindleMy book, “A Widow’s Pursuit” is now available on Kindle! Click on the link to bring you to amazon.Then click on my name and it should bring you to my  author page. The few pictures are of my family and friends that supported me through my grief journey. THANK YOU! I can now give back and pay it forward:-)

 You don’t have to buy a Kindle to read the book. You can download on your PC.

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kids[1]

With Ferree’s permission, I would like to share a prayer that she has written and posted on her website. Please visit her at Widow’s Christian Place, where she offers hope and encouragement to widows and recently wrote a book, Postcards From the Widow’s Path.

Dear God,
I pray for women who have been left to raise children on their own. This is a huge responsibility and burden–when you’re married and have the support of a father to share the duties. But when you’re a mom alone—God, how do you expect these ladies to do all this?!
So, Lord, this is why we must pray!
Oh Lord, fulfill your Word to them from Psalm 68:5 and be a father to these fatherless children. Do a work in their little hearts that assures them they belong to you. Help these children come to Jesus as the little ones in the New Testament did. Protect them from worldly adults and false teachers who claim there is no God. Heal their grief, help them stay true to you, and help them be a comfort and delight to their mother.
And for these mothers, Lord, please strengthen and protect them. Defend them, as you are declared the “defender of widows.” If they are lonely, set them in the midst of families—their own family, their church family, and perhaps the family of a godly man you will send to be her new husband and new father for her children. Lord, raise up these men with the backbone and integrity to be our heroes!
Above all else, Lord, may the widow with children to raise find her rest in you. Draw her to yourself, surround her with your lovingkindness and new mercies every morning. Fill her days with deep joy, fill her mind with your wonders, fill her heart with your peace. Collect her tears in your bottle and transform them into her treasure. Bless her with kindness and rest.
In Jesus Name,
Amen

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families . . . Psalm 68:5,6a

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February 2013 014Everyone has their own story of how they met their best friends and what makes them so special. So when our family moved in next door to Lisa and her family, Lisa and I instantly became friends. I had no idea the journey I’d walk with her. At the time, my youngest daughter, Nicole, was 6 months old and Lisa was 7 months pregnant with her youngest son, Jeremiah. I went over to Lisa’s one day to ask for a cup of sugar. And thus our journey began….

For 3 wonderful years we made fun memories together until my family moved back to the East coast and settled in Florida. Fast forward 3 more years and I became a widow. My grief journey took me back to California where Lisa took me in for that first summer where I went wild and crazy! At least that’s what I felt like!

Five years later, beyond my grief, I moved to Georgia to make a new life. In the meantime, Lisa had divorced and moved to Georgia with her son, Jeremiah. She just happened to move to Georgia the same month that I had and we were then living 2 hours apart. We began making new memories again and enjoying our family visits:)

Then 3 years later, life took a tragic turn. Jeremiah, 14 years old, was killed in a car accident. A purpose out of my grief allowed me to be there for Lisa this time. I could walk beside her in her grief journey and understand the heartache and pain. And that’s what a Best Friend Forever is all about!

We believe that Jeremiah occasionally shows up as an angel. My daughter, Nicole, had an experience that she believes Jeremiah saved her life. A month after Jeremiah died, a car Nicole was in one night, as a passenger, almost crashed. She saw a handprint on the outside of the window that stopped the car. She believed it was Jeremiah’s hand that stopped the car from crashing. I wrote a short story that was published in, “Angel Digest”.

My journey with my BFF is not over. Through better or worse, that’s what friends are for!!

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Jan 11 2013 086I have to share how awesome my friends were to me in my deepest times of grief. I know now, that it’s not fun to walk through grief with someone. So when somebody walks through the shadow of grief with you, they are some special people!!!  This is Trish. (above) She actually gave me the idea to write the book and encouraged me the whole way through. She made sure that I never gave up. She was actually my friend that took me out to dinner on my first birthday as a widow. (Not even one month into my grief.) Talk about a birthday celebration. NOT! But I was still in shock and in the numb stage so I wasn’t too depressing to be around yet!

Jan 11 2013 095Now meet my friend, Carol! She always had a scripture to share to keep my faith on track. She took my children in and made sure they were fed and had their homework done everynight. Carol would listen to me as I talked for hours about Nelson. We both believed in eternal life, and this softened the pain of reality. I’d go through the motions, but felt like I was living in a foreign world.  It didn’t hurt when we’d go to Carol’s timeshare at Daytona beach occasionally. We’d talk for hours and many times it was with Carol when I received my signs from God.

Jan 11 2013 096Here’s my friend, Angela:-) (Her husband, Sal is behind her and friend, Jim.) Such wonderful friends and super next door neighbors!!! I could always count on Angela. Sometimes it was having a cup of coffee and talking while other times she’d come to my rescue when I desperately needed her. She’d talk me through how it was ok that I was feeling the way I was. My kids lived at her home as well. She and Sal had an open door policy. Their “casa” was our “casa”. I know I took advantage for awhile, but they loved us unconditionally!!!

Jan 11 2013 098Now here’s Dinah! (In Pink) Her husband, Arturo, their 2 daughters, Christina and Larissa, and my daughter, Jessica (standing on the other side of Dinah). I’ve known Dinah since 4th grade!!! Dinah was my partner in crime as we went through our teenage years together! She could always make me laugh and still does. The memories we share together are priceless. I couldn’t imagine life without Dinah. Despite her humor that keeps me laughing, she has loved our familly like her own. This is what I call FAMILY!!

Partially because of these friends, I am who I am today. Because they provided me love, encouragement, and support throughout my grief journey, I am now able to help others through their grief. God is a good God! He provided me awesome friends!!!!! Read more about them in my book!

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MP900442876[1]There was a time in my early widowhood, where I thought I was in control of my grief. I found ways not to feel the pain. I was successful for a short period of time. There was always that “instant gratification” of having a drink to numb the pain. This wasn’t a very good long term plan. Eventually, I found myself out of control.

My story can be read on-line at NOW WHAT? in the February issue. Find out what happened to my daughter that caused me to stop my destructive behavior and surrender to God.

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Friends Photographing ThemselvesPlease meet, Debbie, and visit her blog A New Side To Normal 

Debbie’s husband, Dave, passed away 4 months ago after a 7-month battle with lung cancer. They were married for 27 years and have 2 adult children.

A New Side To Normal is about Debbie’s life encounters as a recent widow. It’s small snippets of her journey through the grieving process as she finds a new normal.

Debbie writes, “My goal is to stay strong, hold Dave’s presence close to my heart, and seek the humor in every tough situation. But more than for myself, I hope that I may someday help someone else get through this pain. It’s not like there’s a right or wrong way to grieve – so long as we do.”

Debbie’s recent post, “Thank You, My friend” posted on January 21, 2013, I hold close to my heart. A widow NEVER forgets who her best friends are when tragedy strikes.

Debbie writes:

“I find myself this week thinking of my friends. They say you know who your true friends are when tragedy strikes. They are the ones who are there for you, who love and support you in the good times, as well as the bad. Read more….

Since I self-published my book, “A Widow’s Pursuit” on amazon.com, I just had my first book party with my true friends who were with me when my tragedy first striked!

Thank you, my friends!

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This blog post was shared by Candy Feathers. She became a widow on November 10, 2009 at the age of 57. She and her husband were married for 36 years. Two months later, her mom passed away and 2 months after that, her dad followed them both to heaven. Candy is a mother of 4 grown daughters, 4 sons-in-law, 6 grandchildren here on earth and 1 in heaven. Please visit her blog for more inspiration!

The Godly Widow Confiding in the Widow’s God

The following excerpt was written by Octavius Winslow. Octavius descended from Edward Winslow, a Pilgrim leader who braved the Atlantic to come to the New World on the Mayflower in 1620. Octavius’s father, Thomas,  died when he was seven years old. Shortly after that, Octavius’s God-fearing mother took her family of ten children to New York. All of the children became Christians and three sons became evangelical ministers. Octavius later wrote a book about his family’s experiences from his mother’s perspective entitled LIFE IN JESUS.  He had an unique understanding of his mother’s widowed heart.

“Let thy widows trust in me.” —Jeremiah 49:11.

It is well!  All that He does, who speaks these touching words, is well.  It is well with you, for He who gave in love, in love has taken away the mercy that He gave.  The companion of your youth, the friend of your bosom, the treasure of your heart, the staff of your riper and the solace of your declining years, is removed, but since God has done it–it is, it must be well.

Look now above the circumstances of your deep and dark sorrow, the second causes of your bereavement, the probable consequences of your loss,–God has done it; and that very God who has smitten, who has bereaved, and who has removed your all of earthy good, now invites you to trust in Him.  Chance has not brought you into this state; accident has not bereft you of your treasure; God has made you a widow that you may confide in the widow’s God.

With your peculiar case the Word of God in a pre-eminent degree sympathizes.  It would seem, indeed, as if a widow’s sorrow and a widow’s desolateness took the precedence of all other bereavements in the Bible.  It is touched with a hand so gentle, it is referred to with a tenderness so exquisite, it is quoted with a solemnity so profound, it would seem as if God had taken the widow’s sorrow, if I may so express myself, into His heart of hearts.

“Ye shall not afflict any widow,” — “He doth execute the judgment of the widow,”–”The sheaf in the field shall be for the widow,”–”He relieveth the widow,”–”He will establish the border of the widow,”–”A judge of the widow is God”–”Plead for the widow,”–”If ye oppress not the widow,”–”Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, to visit the widows in their affliction,”–”Let your widows trust in me.” 

What a cluster of divine and precious consolations for the widow is here!  How do their extraordinary appropriateness to her case, their extreme delicacy in dealing with her position, their especial regard for her circumstances; above all, their perfect sympathy with her lonely sorrow, betray the heart from when they flow!

And who is the object of the widow’s trust?  “In ME,” says God.  None less than Himself can meet your case.  He well considers that there is an acuteness in your sorrow, a depth in your loss, a loneliness and a helplessness in your position, which no one can meet but Himself.

The first, the best, the fondest, the most protective of creatures has been torn from your heart, is smitten down at your side; what other creature can now be a substitute?  A universe of beings could not fill the void.  God in Christ only can.  O!  Wonderful thought that the Divine Being should come and embosom Himself in the bereft and bleeding heart of a human sufferer–that bereft and bleeding heart of yours.

He is especially the God of the widow.  And when He asks your confidence, and invites your trust, and bids you lift your weeping eye from the crumbled idol at your feet, and fix it upon Himself, He offers you an infinite substitute for a finite loss; thus, as He ever does, giving you infinitely more than He took; bestowing a richer and a greater blessing than He removed.

He recalled your husband, but He bestows Himself.  And O, the magnitude of this trust!  It is to have infinite power to protect you, infinite wisdom to guide you, infinite love to comfort you, infinite faithfulness at all times to stay by you, and boundless resources to supply your every need.  It is to have the God who made heaven and earth, the God to whom the spirits of all creatures are subject, the God who gave His dear Son to die for you, the God of the everlasting covenant to be your Shield, your Counselor, your Provider, your God forever and ever and your Guide even unto death.

And what are you invited thus to entrust to God?  First, your own self.  It is one of the greatest, as it is one of the most solemn peculiarities of the Gospel, that it deals with us as individuals.  It never, in all the commands it enjoins, and in all the blessings it promises, loses sight of our individuality.  This, then, is a personal confiding.  You are to trust yourself into God’s hands.

God seems not to stand to you in a new relation.  He has always been your Father and your Friend.  To these He now adds the relation of Husband.  Your present circumstances seem to invest you with a new claim, not upon His love–for He has always loved you as He loves you now–but upon His especial, His peculiar, His tender care; the affectionate solicitude of the Husband blending with the tender love of the Father.  You are to flee to Him in your helplessness, to resort to Him in your loneliness, to confide to Him your wants, and to weep your sorrows upon His bosom.

Secondly, your children. “Leave your fatherless children; I will preserve them alive.” A state of half-orphanage is one of peculiar interest to God. A fatherless child is an object of His especial regard and care.

“Thou art the helper of the fatherless,”—“A father of the fatherless is God,”—“Enter not into the field of the fatherless; for their Redeemer is mighty, he will plead their cause with thee.”

Encouraged by this invitation and this promise, take, then, your fatherless ones, and lay them on the heart of God. He has removed their earthly father, that He may adopt them as His own. His promise that He will “preserve them alive,” you are warranted to interpret in its best and widest sense. It must be regarded as including, not temporal life only, but also spiritual life. God never offers us an inferior blessing, when it is in His power to confer, and our circumstances demand, a greater. He will preserve your fatherless ones alive temporarily, providing all things necessary for their present existence; but, infinitely more than this, He will, in answer to the prayer of faith, preserve their souls unto eternal life. Thus it is a promise of the life that now is, and also of that which is to come.

Thirdly, your concerns are to be entrusted to God. These, doubtless, press at this moment with peculiar weight upon your mind. They are new and strange. They were once cared for by one in whose judgment you had implicit confidence, whose mind thought for you, whose heart beat for you, whose hands toiled for you, who in all things sought to anticipate every wish, to reciprocate every feeling; ‘who lessened his cares by your sympathy, and multiplied his pleasures by your participation;’ whose esteem, and affection, and confidence shed a warm and mellow light over the path of life.

These interests, once confided to his judgment and control, must now be entrusted to a wiser and more powerful friend,—to Him who is truly and emphatically the widow’s God. Transferred to His government, He will make them all his own. Your care will be His cares; your concerns will be His concern; your children will be His children; your need the occasion of His supply; and your fears, perils, and dejection, the period of His soothing, protection, and love.

And just at this period of your life, when every object and every scene appears to your view trembling with uncertainty and enshrouded with gloom, God—the widow’s God—speaks in language well calculated to awaken in your soul a song in the night,—“LET THY WIDOWS TRUST IN ME.”

O! have faith, then, in this word of the living God, and all will be well with you. It will be well with your person, it will be well with your children, it will be well with your estate. The God who cared for the widow of Zarephath, the Saviour who had compassion on the bereaved widow of Nain, is your God and Saviour; and the same regard for your interests, and the same sympathy for your sorrow, will lighten your cares and cheer the desolateness of your widowhood. Only trust in God.

Beware of murmuring at His dealings, of doubting His kindness, of distrusting His word, and of so nursing your grief as to refuse the consolation your God and Saviour proffers you. The sweetest joy may yet spring from your bitter, lonely sorrow; and the richest music may yet awake from your unstrung and silent harp.

If a human power and sympathy could “make the widow’s heart to sing for joy,” O! what joy cannot God’s power and love create in that desolate, bleeding, widowed heart of thine. Place it, then, all stricken and lonely as it is, in God’s hands; and, breathing over it His loving Spirit, He will turn its tears, its sighs, its moanings, into the sweetest midnight harmony.

http://www.reformedreader.org/rbb/winslow/godlywidow.htm

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