a widows pursuit

An empty chocolate heart box. This is what my heart felt like when my husband died. Empty! What did I fill it back up with? Why do I grieve and feel such pain?

John 16:20 “I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.”

We may feel like our grief will never turn to joy, but Jesus makes this promise to us.

There was a time in my early months of grief that I went into denial. Even though I was a Christian and had faith that God was with me, some of my behaviors were not showing that I trusted God with my grief. Two months into widowhood, I was on a trip with my 2 daughters in California. I told my friend Lynette that God was taking away the pain. I said this while I was having my 3rd or 4th margarita. (After the 2nd one, I lost count!) She told me the pain would come once I returned home. I didn’t believe her at the time. But after months of drinking and trying to numb the pain my way, there came a point where drinking no longer worked. The pain would always come back and not to even mention the consequences!

There comes a time where filling the void ourselves doesn’t work anymore.

What are some behaviors you’ve been known to do to fill your void in grief?